Saturday, May 29, 2010

my conversation on the train this morning

It turns out I had to get on the train this morning quite rough around the edges. Up late and up early with a headache. I was wearing sunglasses to try and help my situation.

I got to share my train ride standing next to some fellows who work in preventative nyc building sanitation. How I came to find this out was because of Clarence.

The pickup line: "dang what's a woman like you doing having to work so hard? (referring to my rough appearance). You need a man like me to provide."
Me: hmmm that's interesting
Clarence: Girl, do you have a Blackberry or what? I can call you then.
Me: um, no
Clarence: what you got?
Me: a piece of crap
Clarence: aw, nevermind (I guess that means I can't get called then? not that I want Clarence to call)
Clarence: so you married? be honest. don't lie. DON'T LIE.
Me: well in that case, no (I heavily considered lying but I didn't have a standby wedding ring at the moment)
Clarence: aw good.
Clarence: Wait. You got a boyfriend then? is it serious? aw man, he better be good
Me: he's really cool
Clarence: like really cool?
Me: like really cool
Clarence: Well I was in a relationship with this girl and we broke up and I've been abstinent for
seven months. Can I have your phone number?
Me: no, Clarence
Clarence: why not, I just want to be friends. We don't have to do nothing.
Me: So how do you like working in sanitation?
Clarence: it's great. I love my boys (who are very nearby listening to the entire conversation) So can I have your phone number?
Me: wow that must be cool to see the inner workings of old buildings
Clarence: I'll give you my number then and you can call me
Robot train voice: "this is Union Square" (my stop, thankfully)
Clarence: but can I..Me: Bye Clarence!!